Adoption is a calling, not a consolation prize

Over the past few months of travel I’ve gotten to talk to three different couples who have dealt with infertility. One couple just adopted a baby; the other two were praying about it. Infertility is a difficult cross for a couple to bear and I think many times we (as a society) are insensitive about it. It is very easy to ask a couple struggling with infertility the question, “Why don’t you adopt?” as if that was the simple and logical thing to do (regrettably, I think I’ve said something like that in the past).

My perspective on this radically changed a few years ago when we adopted our son, Joey. In our case, the question people asked was the opposite: since you have kids of “your own” already, why are you adopting?

Wondering why a couple struggling with infertility isn’t adopting a child or why a couple who has biological children is adopting reveals an underlying societal assumption that adoption is a consultation prize for people who can’t get pregnant.

But I’ve come to understand that adoption is a calling, regardless of being fertile or infertile.

I am grateful that Jennie and I were called to adopt Joey as he is such a blessing to us. And my prayers go out to all those who are discerning adoption (and I pray that more would be open to that call).

“In love (the Father) destined us for adoption to himself through Jesus Christ, in accord with the favor of his will, for the praise of the glory of his grace that he granted us in the beloved” (Eph 1:5-6).

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